A weekend at Nilai

Boyfriend, Inti Stingray, Ultimate frisbee, Running Man show, Pool, Arabian food and a hidden surprise from him conclude it all!

<3

E

2 more days to our 1st anniversary.

I dont know how we make it this far, i just hope that we will grow stronger and be a better partner for each other.

If and only if i can interpret my feeling into song and sing it to you.

About the fun im addicted to...

Entertainment! is my way of escaping.

Coffee, movie, sports and more movies...

This is bad, Im overdoing them, Im addicted to them.

Im getting to dislike my studio assignments, they are no fun and Im stucked.

How can this be happening? I hate myself for being like this.

Oh please, can someone wake me up from this dream?

SIGH!

Listening to Love Will Take You.

It's Friday!

It's friday and i dont feel enthusiastic about it. Im isolating myself in the room, to make me feel better and comfortable. Suddenly i have the craving for Starbucks Christmas's beverages! I cant wait to have THE Toffee Nut Frap and also try out the Cranberry white chocolate mocha frap. I need them to kill my blue! How i wish someone would just drive me to the shop and get it!

The I-have-been-waiting-for-ages Starbucks card is finally launched in Malaysia. Hopefully they will have awesome design of cards coming up soon!

Nothing but self hatred

I've read from somewhere saying that University is the turning point of your life. Is my life going to turn bad at this point? Should i check within myself before i throw the blames at other people? Stupid me.

The things which can makes me feel better is making me feeling worse. Window shopping, seeing nice stuff, buying things, going out, spending money on transportation, money is getting lesser, less shopping, less going out, less happiness. Perhaps i should find a new recreation activity, a new hobby, a hobby which require no spending, a hobby which is beneficial for physical and mental health. I know im thinking this way because i have been sitting in the room for hours, raining makes me even gloomy. Favourite sport isnt helping me much because of the people. I dont know what to do?

Should i just pray and hope for things to get better?

I dont know

Am i so easy to be forgotten?

Am i so easy to slip out from your mind?

Am i so unimpressivable?

Am i so little to be notice?

Am i just a passerby?

Am i just a nobody?

Am i just being too picky at who to mix with?

Am i just too independent?

Am i not trying hard to show myself?

Am i not trying hard to approach people?

Am i not trying hard to talk?

Am i not trying hard to be who i am?

Im seriously doubting my existence in this place...

The adventurous trip!

Livingroom cafe! Almost lost in the way to the place.

Sometimes, there is certain place where GPS shows zero result.

Sometimes, photography angle makes a thing looks better than it is.

The new look!

oh well, was trying out the new template and found out this one is nice, hence give it a try. still having problem trying to set the title photo into center. anyway, just a quick update to relight my blog!

tadaaaa!

Say...

I can run to anywhere, but there will be no place for me to hide.

Because in the end of the day, You found me.

OK! My thing, It's getting lame.

If I wake up tomorrow, will you still be here?

what is LIFE if there isn't any changes in the process? We have to keep changing to cope with present and future. Seeking for the reason to live, knowing the truth. Somehow everything has their own reason defines right or wrong, some say there is no right or wrong, because it depends on own perspective. Whatever i have learnt to live, changed abruptly. Changing is hard, but if the change is persistent, soon will become a habit. Habit leads to lifestyle. Is it true? Is it false? Nowadays it is difficult to differentiate. I have my stand to defy it. I am sorry that I did not try my best to be better.

I want to experience what other people experience, even if it is not right. I know this sounds immature but we are just human.

Why me? Why now?

You have the answers for my questions. I know the reason I have this thought because I still couldnt let go of it.

Im stucked on my own will, I am a short-sighted human being who cant look further into the future. I miss the happy-in-the-wrong-way me. Why I have become panic-stress-in-the-right-way? Because I shouldnt.

"Maybe you dont understand what im saying, because this is not meant for you."

Listening to Mike Posner's Please Dont Go.

Perfect for this afternoon.

Why cant I be honest?

I am living in LIES.

I am lying all the times.

when things get unhappy, rocky and lonely, becoming fragile.

Everything seems changed.

Now what?!

I really wish to give you all the troubles and blow it in front of you because i can.

But it's not the right way, and i shouldnt.

Perhaps i just write it out to make me feel better or make you worse.

The lump is boiling...

What?!

Maybe something should be left unsaid...

Love?

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

The voice from my heart

There are so many things which i need to express but i couldnt post to the public. Frustration and worries are overwhelming me, i havent feel so in such a long time. Just one call from home, to make the tsunami of mix feelings to intrude the coastal of my mind. Perhaps the way im doing this thing isnt the way God allows it to be, therefore, there will be the path of burning charcoal to walk across which is the challenge to accept or the price to pay. I do not feel homesick, because the place i am now feels more like home. I cant stop shaking my head when i see how people live their life. It's not that i lead a better life than anyone else, but im really thankful and grateful to have found the right guidance to live my life. I really want to help these people, and hopefully i can. I have to be convincing enough to convince other people and clear their doubts. God, please give me strength!

Picasa collage!

Yesterday, went to Taman Sutera and had korean food. Finally get to try the OH-SO-FAMOUS tutti fruti. It may costs a fortune if you are not becareful.

Midnight, we had a suprise fire escape practice. Guess what? The practice seems so real compared to those during high school. Due to the fact that they actually used the smoke gas to pretend that there was fire. Fire engines, ambulances and polices were there as well, so can you imagine how 'grand' is the situation? The other block residents thought that we actually had a fire going on. In short, we learnt something new in the practice.

The kitty cat was posing!

This morning, we woke up at 5am to line up for the registration of hostel room for the next semester. It was like, queuing up to purchase famous singer's concert's ticket. Most of them brought their laptops to watch movie to kill time. As for me, I was half sleeping. Terrible! However, we managed to get our favourite rooms! Yipee!!

Something random to share. hehe!

the 300th post

Tonight is the night, the night i reincarnate my blog.

It has been dead for 3 weeks!

So i was eating this dessert, this soup, this sugar liquid..

I feel so pathetic and sad. Can you imagine that, this is the best dessert I could have in Johor!!

I feel like crying. Im so desperate for these desserts!!

So yummy and delicious.

Irresistible ones!!

In Penang, I can find Mat Dou Yao.

In KL, I can find Snowflakes.

Arent these the best yums you ever have?

Jeez, Im crying out loud for yummy desserts =(

NEW

I just realised that Starbucks have changed its logo, it looks uber plain. A bit disappointed but nevermind, it is the taste that matters. Well this is the first time i have a VENTI size of coffee based frap. I think i will be having some caffeine rush for the rest of my day. EEEEPS!

What The Heck

I got myself 3 pairs of bling ear studs last weekend.

well that is not the point. The point is... I feel so lonely in a tuesday afternoon. I wonder where do everyone go, i mean i know the location of some of them, either in the library or their rooms. But i just not interested to drop by. These places are a wee miserable. Yeah Im typing here miserably too. I should have appreciate my free time to do my assignments. You know the time is golden, dont waste it. But the thing is... I dont want to do that at the moment, right now. I prefer to rant. Oh great. In fact I've just finished 2 episodes of Gossip Girl and read some pages of Shopaholic Takes Manhattan. You know to entertain myself and polish up my english, but I still feel Im pathetic. If and only if I have a car and a friend right now, I could easily drive to the nearest cafe to chill and talk our way out. Because public transport is not convenient at my place and the taxi fares is horrible to afford by myself. I mean to and fro, I can already buy myself a nice chilly Frap.

I almost laugh myself out when I think whats the meaning of FRIEND. There are many types of friendship in the university, or I can say in the society.

You met them in an event, they were being so friendly who greets you and pump you with a lot of information because it's an event, and they were promoting something. So there they were, speaking with you as thought you and them are already befriended. One day, you meet them on the street, they spare you a glance, you wonder 'do they remember me??' but both of you just pass by each other. Your heart sinks. They couldnt recognize you, they will not know you unless you walk up and RE-introduce yourself. (I bet most people do not do that, they shall let it pass. People like me. Hmm!) Oh we have met! But it would be awkward if they keep nodding and oh-ah-yes-how-are-you-good-i-will-see-you-around but what's real is that they dont remember you. You wouldnt know it, but you can feel it. YEEP!

The thing is I can almost recognize all the faces which I met, except some who really do look alike others, because they cover their hair with cloth/scarf. I know that they're not suppose to expose certain parts of their body, BUT i mean in fact hair is so crucial when it comes to recognize people. Faces might look alike when they are in round, oval, square shapes. Now i have improved in recognizing people (fyi i enjoy people watching) but still sucks with names. Maybe I should write them down, read them and not by just repeat verbally because 3 seconds later, I have forgotten the name utterly. Especially long name.

Resume to my friends topic, a group of people who are more or less only stuck together with one common purpose, or two. Class and assignments. How to keep these people together in one place? First you have to elect a person to organize a hang out and a meal gathering. Because this is about 12 people who are having different ideas and opinions, sometimes the plan just have to cancel due to the fact that some do not want to compromise each other, or the plan just divided into few parts (luckily this hasnt happen yet). After lots of discussions and considerations about where to go and what to eat, here comes the transportation problem. Ok transport, checked! Either by taxi or bus, thats them. What i want to say is that it is really hard to keep a group of people, which included some strong self perspective people, to go on. I realised that it is rare and difficult to meet people with same interests, same ideas who can compromise or i should say Flexible, as if you have met these people, they might possibly not around you. So appreciate friends around you.

I abhor being inconvenient by transportation, I mean i was lucky back in hometown or other places where I usually have my own vehicle or helpful friends who are willing to fetch and drop me. But in this place, I encounter the neck of the bottle. I cant go to the places I want whenever or wherever. I do not have personal transportation, while public transportation is the pain in the ass. I wanted to befriend with some friendly and sincere people who are willing to give me a hand whenever i need a hand. I thought it could be a favor to the helpless me. But I feel like I've been cheated in a way. Cheated by myself, cheated by my own thoughts. Certain people took me for granted, as if I havent notice that. Not the car issue because i do not own a car. They just use you for temporary company. And this reminds me that I should keep in touch with other precious friends of mine, maybe some of them would think i am that kind of person as well. Because if i can feel it this way about other, why not them? University life can be a dream or nightmare. Maybe it was my fault in the beginning of the whole senario because i have set the wrong initiative. I just wish to meet some real friends in the university, perhaps it would be better if I added ' I would love to befriend with those with something in common with me! ', thats all. Not some poker faces. This is a rough time. I have never feel so lonely before. But all of these shits have contribute so much to the spiritual relationship between God and I. Thank God, I still have Him by my side all the time.

I miss my family, I really miss my friends!!

And you too, yes you, if you are reading this.

First Visit to These Places

A very pleasant and not so fruitful trip, together with my club members.