Tell me that im wrong.

I will learn, I will not escape anymore. So much to think, so much to worry. "I dont know " is no longer the answer for any problem. I always see fun and sunshine in other person but not in myself, as i always see me as the dull and bitter hidden snake in the rock. Secretly, I want to live my own fantasy fairyland with green sky fulled of stars, fairy dust which makes your dream comes true, a world with no frustration and no competition. This is just another of mine to escape the reality, 'oh another escapee, what a dork'. Sheez, I suppose im have nothing better to do than whining in my blog. I always think and do the things which are opposing, I dont know what i want. Im in confusion all the time, and i hate making decision between two. I wish i could like in a space with red walls, photographs and sparkling lightings hanging on the wall. Blue sofa and a black little table in the middle. A small aquarium with colourful tiny fishes swimming around like they prefer their life to be this way. Bittersweet, what an interesting word which hit me so hardly in my mind. I will use this time to figure out myself and what i want. Im tired of wandering around without knowing my purpose to live. Let the time flows away like it is not precious at all. No i have never think of ending my life which is never gonna happen.
Frankly, I dont wish anyone read this. Goodbye!